Coming Out on facebook Part 2

So I had a bit of a meltdown there.

Why come out today? No idea, certainly wasn’t planning to when I woke up. After another night of terrible sleep, I got up early to do some writing and I found that I wanted to update my FAQ slightly. Having amended it to give me the freedom of saying “I’m trans but don’t use she/her pronouns”, I found that I was quite ready to share the document. Maybe I’ve been laying the groundwork subconsciously for a few months, but for whatever reason today was the day.

It’s been about seven hours now and I think my SUDS are finally starting to regulate. It’s sinking in now that it’s done, that the knowledge is out there and I can’t take it back. I even updated my profile pic from a day when I really liked my makeup.

I had this wild and unrealistic hope that I’d get 130 likes and several dozen comments, so I was a wee bit disappointed when I saw my post currently has about 44 reactions and 20 comments. But then I realised I only have 200 friends (because I’m reasonably selective about who I add on social media), so statistically that’s quite a lot of them.

I’m still kind of waiting for someone to say something offensive. I have no idea what it might be, but I’m so ready for it.
But I’m starting to think maybe it’ll never come? Everyone’s been so lovely and supportive and kind? And maybe that’s what the people in my social media bubble are like, and I have nothing to fear from them?
I guess time will tell. For now, it sure does feel an awful lot like love and validation watching those numbers climb and reading those comments. I’m glad I came out today. I hope things continue to go well.

PS: I solved the shoe problem. After checking out four or five stores, I finally went to my “last resort” place and found the most perfect hiking shoes in the world that were in my size and 70% off. The Direct Factory Outlet is amazing.

While at the DFO, someone included me in the term “ladies” twice, which was delightful.
I also bought a second sports bra, because I just can’t frigging get enough of the first one and can’t bear to be parted with it when it’s in the wash. And when I took it up to the counter, the staff member there spoke to me about how comfortable it is (so I guess they could see the strap of my bra peaking out from my top), and I felt so safe and included.

Lastly, I saw that there were some permanent hair removal kits on sale. I’d spoken to Wren about things and I wanted to try a DIY kit since I’d be using it on basically my whole body, which would cost a fortune professionally. I’ve been too nervous to even look at the box since I brought it home, and am currently just focussing on growing the hair so I can zap it. (Waxing pulls the hair out of the follicle so there’s nothing to zap. I need to wait for it to grow back and then shave so I can start treatment in the next few weeks.)

Biiiiiiiiiiiig changes happening. Psychiatrist in 18 days. Hoo boy.